The Fit Lady

Intrusive thoughts can begin to drive you absolutely mad. This obsessive thinking and ruminating can become powerful and relentless. I searched for years for ways to escape it and get rid of intrusive thoughts myself.

Advice I received always made sense logically but my obsessive brain wasn’t at all logical. I felt I had to reason with it or find a way to shift my perception in line with the compulsive thoughts so they could be put to rest or could somehow make sense.

Breaking Free

I finally found a way to become free from intrusive thinking. I don’t know if this advice would have helped me earlier on. Sometimes I feel we need to experience certain things in order to become a better version of ourselves.

The old me would have NEVER started a blog. I am a very private person. I never took a selfie. I don’t like to be the center of attention. I am more introverted than extroverted. I could go on with all my self doubt but blogging is one way I have been able to tell my fears to drop dead.

My Intent

I feel the weight of this article over my head.  I am not a therapist but someone who has been in your shoes. Sometimes hearing what others have been through can help know you can get through your own stuff.

I truly want to be able to do this subject justice and be able to convey the things that have helped me break the cycle that has plagued me. I hope you can find a use for this in your life.

What is compulsive thinking

Compulsive thinking can be a single thought or a group of thoughts that can seem to become powerful and can even begin to consume every moment of your day and night. Even when someone with intrusive thoughts falls asleep the brain can manifest these thoughts through dreams and nightmares.

It is extremely confusing and exhausting to live with.

How to overcome intrusive thinking

First off I want to point out to you that you are reading this. You chose to read this. The title intrigued you. You know you have intrusive thoughts. You know your thoughts are compulsive and you want to overcome this. I’m pointing this out for a good reason. You know there has to be a better way to live and are seeking freedom from it. You know this is not you!

It doesn’t matter where the thoughts came from or how they got there. If they are causing you distress and preventing you from living the life you want to live know that this is your mind playing tricks on you. Kind of like your sister playing a prank on you. Once you reveal the source you feel silly and you laugh about it. But… how do you get to this point when you mind has you so convinced this is who you are.

Your mind knows your deepest darkest fears and can play on that. It may seem impossible to separate the false from the reality. This can take practice and a little trial and error but think of it like a fun game you are going to play and know you are going to win.

Avoiding these thoughts and trying to think about something else seems logical but unfortunately logical thoughts seem to be getting pushed aside. So you’ve got to face this problem head on. There probably isn’t a way to reason with these thoughts or make sense of them or find a place for them to belong because they don’t belong. If they are causing you distress you don’t need them.

First, a word about medication.

Don’t be afraid to take prescription medication if this is something that has become severe. Talk to a professional find out what is available for you.

There is no reason to fight this fight alone. With medication you may begin to feel like yourself again and have breaks in intrusive thoughts and begin to have positive thoughts and experiences to build on.

I suggest a psychiatrist rather than a general practitioner.  You may have to try a few before you find someone that fits best with you.

At the very least try supplements like these.

Talk therapy.

Whether you talk to a professional or family or friend, speaking and hearing your thoughts out loud can take away all its power. Something that has been swirling around your head consuming you can sound different and inconsequential when said aloud to someone you trust.

Try an online therapist like this one here.  This is a cool thing!  You don’t have to make appointments like a conventional therapist.  You can even chat live daily with when you need.  This makes so much sense to me!  You can get help in the moments you need help.

For a long time I didn’t believe in therapy because I couldn’t see how someone could talk me out of what I thought or believed. I still think this to some degree.

You are ultimately the one who needs to decide if a thought is valid or not but living in a constant cycle of overpowering thoughts is no way to live. Find someone to talk to, even if just once. At the very least write it all down, rip it up and throw it away.

Overcoming intrusive thoughts can be done by taking away its power. It only stays alive by the power you give it. This is what takes practice at first but can become second nature.

Learn your triggers.

This isn’t something you need to think about but just notice. Make note of what, when, or who helps start the thoughts to take root. You may have no idea at first, or the thoughts took root a long time ago. That’s OK. Take note of how you are feeding your thoughts.

There will be times the thoughts seem too powerful. Those moments are not the best time to try to rationalize or use logic. Know that you are the one inside that knows this doesn’t feel right.

Know that you are separate from those thoughts.
Hopefully you can begin to have breaks in the intrusive thinking either with medication, therapy, or you taking careful note of when you feel good. These feel good feelings are what you are going to build on.

Avoid using alcohol and drugs to feel good. You may be desperate for escape but I promise there are better ways that will benefit you mentally and physically long term.

How to tell your fears to drop Dead

It may take small steps towards recognizing how you may be feeding your fears but with careful attention you may notice a pattern. If you are in a bad living situation or have to deal with people that cause you stress do what you can to get yourself around positive, healthy, supportive people. You can, however, begin to become stronger regardless of your situation.

Take back control of your mental state by telling those intrusive thoughts to drop dead. As the thoughts come recognize they are just thoughts as painful as they may be at times. Allow them to come and go without letting them define who you are or what you or your life should or shouldn’t be.

If your thoughts blindside you or try to stick around try a “State Break”. Meaning break your mental state by completely shaking things up.

Try this:

• Act like an 8 year old kid you just won his basketball game. Jump up and down and cheer like your team won. Laugh, clap, scream, jump, throw your arms up in the air literally!

•Physically move, leave the room you are in, make your mouth into a smile, completely change your state physically.

•Use this time to remember this seemingly all consuming thought really hasn’t been there 100% of the time because you have been making note of it.

•You have been making note of when you felt good or in control. This is the time to recall those better times.

Take Back Control

You are the boss, the king or queen, the ruler, (whatever you want to call yourself).  Give yourself a new identity if you have to, in your own mind rise up with a huge ego and know that you are the one that gets to decide what goes on there.

You may be feeling like a slave to these intrusive thoughts.  I imagine these thoughts to be actual intruders coming into my space and trying to take control or take rule over me.

When I shifted my thinking, and realized I’m the ruler,  I could begin to make these demons my slaves.  

Take rule over your empire, figuratively,  and start using this wild imagination of yours to create your ideal life along with your ideal thoughts.

How to find your passion

People used to tell me “Just do what makes you happy.”   The problem was I had no idea what that was or how to begin to find it adding hopelessness to the realm of my delusion.  So how can this cycle be broken and live a truly fulfilling life.

Rather than focusing on the what or the how focus on the feeling you are looking to have. When have you felt that good feeling? Who were you with? What were you doing? Bring that feeling in now. Let it settle in. Look for ways to invite that feeling into your day whenever possible, especially right before sleep.

As you do this you will begin to have small thoughts that lead to certain action to bring more of that feeling into your life.

These thoughts may seem inconsequential or completely unrelated but whenever you have a feeling or prompting to act (in a positive way) do it. You may be lead completely out of your comfort zone but that is probably where you should end up because your current “comfort zone” isn’t all that comfortable.

These may be things like talking to someone you haven’t talked to in a while, or have never talked to but feel you should. Maybe you are led to a book which takes you to another, then another you never thought you’d be interested in.

Be open to new people and places but be mindful of your morals, standards and boundaries I believe the most happiness can be found when avoiding illegal or harmful activities or anything you know leads to negative consequences.

You must act to make your passion your reality. Taking action no matter how scary or uncomfortable at first is the only way to progress in life. Life becomes limited when you rely on others or are dependent on someone else to have your dreams fulfilled.

You will probably experience failure along the way but that is part of the process. Learn and grow from all your experiences and encounters and know the plan can be rewritten at anytime. When nothing turns out as planned make a new plan. Remember to come back to what you are hoping to feel from success rather than the actual details of the plan.

Live life free from obsession

Is it possible to live life free from obsession and get rid of intrusive thoughts for good? I believe so. It has happened for me!

I don’t feel this post is all inclusive. If you are suffering please keep learning continue to take action towards living your best life. I will continue to write more posts about what has worked for me. I hope to have given you at least a spark of hope.

Read my post here about practical ways I use to quiet my mind.